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Step off, UPS. I am so not in the mood
Dear Universe (UPS and Amazon.com),
Let me level with you; my job is trying to drive me insane, and by try, I mean, succeeded admirably. I needed something good in my life. They are bears. This bear, and this bear, to be exact.
I ordered bears. One tells stories. Stories! They are soft and fluffy. They'll become friends with the frightening number of Christmas-related bears I already own (does not represent totes number of Christmas bears as of 2008). They were not in fact left at my doorstep no matter what tracking says. There is a distinct lack of irony in my textual voice when I say I will cut a bitch and pop a cap into someone and I really don't care who or in fact how impractical carrying two separate weapons in these jeans would be.
Give me my bears.
With a seething rage that could end a thousand worlds in a fiery apocalypse from which no one will escape,
Seperis
Let me level with you; my job is trying to drive me insane, and by try, I mean, succeeded admirably. I needed something good in my life. They are bears. This bear, and this bear, to be exact.
I ordered bears. One tells stories. Stories! They are soft and fluffy. They'll become friends with the frightening number of Christmas-related bears I already own (does not represent totes number of Christmas bears as of 2008). They were not in fact left at my doorstep no matter what tracking says. There is a distinct lack of irony in my textual voice when I say I will cut a bitch and pop a cap into someone and I really don't care who or in fact how impractical carrying two separate weapons in these jeans would be.
Give me my bears.
With a seething rage that could end a thousand worlds in a fiery apocalypse from which no one will escape,
Seperis
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omg I want you to have your bears! :( what if they have to spend Christmas without a home, far away from the north pole! I know what happens when you remove animals from their native habitat! I have seen Happy Feet! D:
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No, no they are not! :( Have you tried explaining this to UPS? I mean, I don't understand why they would not already recognize their duty to treat all Christmas bears humanely rather than leave them stranded out in the wilderness! But perhaps their conscience needs pricking! :(