seperis: (Default)
seperis ([personal profile] seperis) wrote2010-03-23 10:58 am
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airps snippet: house hunting

Three more days in this testing cycle, if I don't count today, which I most certainly do not. Also, I really need to get off my Shiny Toy Guns kick at some point. Something about the screaming in Don't Cry Out manages to be both cathartic and yet highly unsettling.

Random snippet.

House Hunting
by [livejournal.com profile] seperis
Adam/Kris



The first group of houses are all the kind that show up on the cover of Architectural Digest with the tacit understanding you don't live in them so much as revel in the fact you can afford to own them. Or conversely, are of the type where someone thought gold-leaf was the ultimate in home decorating.

On one hand, they make Adam question the sanity of the realtor; on the other, the sheer horror forces Kris to actually express a vocal opinion, on the order of, "No way in hell, Lambert," at the terrifying mirrored bedroom, which proves that someone can take something as beautiful and wholesome as mild exhibitionism and make it so very, very wrong.

"We could take down the mirrors," Adam says as Kris concentrates on the road with the look of a man who barely escaped death, or staring at himself from five thousand separate angles. "Repaint--well, okay, everything."

Kris gives him a look just on this side of panic.

"Granted, the murals were a little--" Adam searches for the right word to express the feeling of being watched by flat, painted eyes that followed you from room to room. Sure, they could paint over that, but they'd always know beneath the paint, they were still there. "Okay, yeah, that was unsettling."

"Someone actually lived there."

"I'm trying not to think about that too much," Adam answers carefully. It's not that he has anything against murals or modern art, but there's expressing artistic vision and then there's whatever the fuck that was supposed to be. "Call me crazy, but was there a Dante's Inferno going on in the dining room or--"

"Oh, there was," Kris says, fingers white-knuckled around the wheel. "Imagine coming home to that after Burning Man this year and tell me we can repaint."

"I might find religion," Adam says, not sure he's joking. "Or a psychiatric disorder. Okay, so. First group: fail."

"Maybe talk to her about less avant-garde and more, I don't know, a place where the dogs won't be afraid to come inside?"

Adam looks at Kris thoughtfully. "You want a dog?" Kris had been involved with a fundraiser for some animal shelter a few months ago, and being Kris, now volunteered on alternate weekends and dragged Adam along whenever possible (read: a lot). Adam had been watching for escalation. "So we're at the dogs place now?"

Kris shrugs, shoulders set to defensive. "Maybe?"

"You're thinking of a specific dog, though," Adam continues cheerfully; he's been curious how Kris would approach the subject for a while now. "Specific dogs, plural."

"I was thinking of eventually getting a dog," Kris says, like this hasn't been obvious for fucking ever. "Maybe a cat," he adds in the spirit of compromise or something. "The lemon tree is still alive."

"Which we both admit may be the first verifiable miracle of the twenty-first century."

"Alive," Kris says firmly. "And I mean, after we get a house. The condo wouldn't really work--"

"That's why you agreed to start looking," Adam says, enlightened. "Fuck like, space and traffic and paparazzi living on our doorstep; you were thinking of the best place for us to raise puppies."

Kris doesn't deny it.

"I have never found you more adorable," Adam says, trying unsuccessfully to fight down the giggling that if he starts now will never ever stop, and Brad's couch is way too short to risk that. "Seriously. Puppies."

"It doesn't have to be puppies," Kris mutters half-heartedly, maybe thinking of the current crop at his pet animal shelter. "Forget it."

"I didn't say I was opposed to exploring your maternal instincts," Adam starts, enjoying this way too much.

Kris' left eyelid twitches.

"Just, do you think we're ready for such a big step?" Adam settles back on the seat, keeping his eyes carefully off the road. Kris is a very good driver, which is a problem, because that makes him very different from the population of LA, who most definitely are not. "If you're thinking couch, let me remind you that means no sex, and it's not like you're a ball of sunshine the next morning when that happens." Not that Adam is either, but Adam isn't interacting tomorrow with people he actually likes in a small, confined space where everyone is armed with objects that could double as weapons of blunt force trauma.

Kris meditates that. "True." Then. "It doesn’t have to be puppies."

"I don’t know." Adam considers the possibilities. "Will they have your eyes?"
ext_417805: (Default)

[identity profile] averzierlia.livejournal.com 2010-03-23 05:11 pm (UTC)(link)
Aaaand I'm going to lie and say I never went past a threesome in these fantasies.
(In my defense, its the world's fault for making the actors who play Rodney, John, and Cam so hot. I mean, I can't be held responsible. Also, I'm going to skip over the Dream-That-Is-Not-Mentioned, but I will randomly point out that if clones were real I would totally spring for a Spock, Kirk, and McCoy. And, ok, I can't help it if my subconscious really really loves me. It was a dream. I can't control them!)

[identity profile] seperis.livejournal.com 2010-03-23 05:15 pm (UTC)(link)
...my coworkers want to know why I almost knocked over my coffee laughing. I blamed the fact Adam's For Your Entertainment came up on my playlist even though I'm not wearing my headphones.

*hiccuping into jacket weakly*
ext_417805: (Default)

[identity profile] averzierlia.livejournal.com 2010-03-23 05:19 pm (UTC)(link)
*giggles* Sorry. Also, I would like to point out that it is totally your fault that I read RPS. This, however, is not a bad thing. And wow, dogs should not be able to glare like that. I may have um. Woken up puppy. Laughing.

[identity profile] ellixis.livejournal.com 2010-03-23 05:34 pm (UTC)(link)
Kirk, Spock, and Bones in Atlantis. *thoughtful face, distant stare* You know, I don't think there's enough free-floating ego on the planet for both Jim and Rodney. That would go badly.
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[identity profile] averzierlia.livejournal.com 2010-03-23 05:38 pm (UTC)(link)
Um. You're also forgetting the out-whoring competition between Kirk and Sheppard, with Spock being quietly disproving in the background and Rodney throwing fits and Kirk and John accidentally ending up in a threesome with Bones while trying to one up each other. This could happen, someone totally needs to write this.

[identity profile] ellixis.livejournal.com 2010-03-23 06:02 pm (UTC)(link)
Spock and Rodney flatly and categorically deny that they're having any kind of competition, but the fact that every other scientist in the city has found an excuse to be working somewhere other than the labs seems to imply otherwise. After about a week, there's a spectacular, explosive yelling match; afterwards, they seem to have joined forces. This scares the rest of the science team far more than the cold war did.

It would be a beautiful, beautiful trainwreck.
ext_417805: (In Case Of)

[identity profile] averzierlia.livejournal.com 2010-03-23 06:03 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh my god. You're a genius. Then they could, like, team up and save Sheppard and Kirk from their man-whore ways.
ext_417805: (Harry Potter - Educational Decree No.118)

[identity profile] averzierlia.livejournal.com 2010-03-23 06:16 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm writing this. Considering my WoW time is about to run out, I will be writing manically for the next few days. Can I like, convince someone to beta for me or something. Or at least tell me if I horribly screw it up and should never post it.

[identity profile] ellixis.livejournal.com 2010-03-24 01:15 am (UTC)(link)
Intelligence vs. galactic girly-mags? No contest, man. No contest.
ext_417805: (Ronan - A Nice Guy)

[identity profile] averzierlia.livejournal.com 2010-03-24 04:20 am (UTC)(link)
Actually, in my mind, they pretty much just pinned them down and told them that their man-whoring days are over and they were taken now, and if they wanted sex to come to their resident genius.

[identity profile] ellixis.livejournal.com 2010-03-24 03:44 pm (UTC)(link)
I like that scenario a great deal!
ext_417805: (Default)

[identity profile] averzierlia.livejournal.com 2010-03-24 04:15 pm (UTC)(link)
*wide grin* Great! Because this idea has wrapped itself around my soul and demanding I write it on pain of never being un-distracted long enough to raid again.

[identity profile] ellixis.livejournal.com 2010-03-24 06:43 pm (UTC)(link)
Pardon me while I go friend you so I can vulture your LJ for the eventual result. :D
ext_417805: (This War)

I gives you drabble <3

[identity profile] averzierlia.livejournal.com 2010-03-25 04:35 am (UTC)(link)
Jim’s incredulous voice cuts across McKay’s tirade. “Wait, you’re telling me that Sheppard goes around seducing people? So much so that you make jokes about me? And he does it without noticing?”

Spock is doing the whole ‘you humans are so illogical’ raised eyebrow thing, and he can see Bones shaking his head from the corner of his eye while Sheppard has pretty much given up on trying to control his expression and has his face covered with his hand. McKay seems to realize he’s been yelling for the past five minutes, and has the grace to look embarrassed.

“Well…yes. I mean, we do our best (by we Kirk guesses he’s talking about his team, and wow, what a crew they would make) but there is only so much we can do to counteract his idiotic fumbling.”

“Right.” Jim says the word sarcastically while rubbing the bridge of his nose. “Ok, you know what, this cannot be allowed to continue.”

McKay looks startled, and Sheppard has dropped his hand and is looking at him disbelievingly. “Really?” he asks, his drawl making the word a few syllables longer then it should be and it sounds sorta sarcastic, although Jim doesn’t think he means to be. If he wasn’t so appalled by the knowledge just dropped into his lap he would do what he does when Spock trots out his little ‘I find myself unable to believe that you are capable of rational thought’ face and start a snarking match.

He settles for glaring at the two of them instead. “Yes, really. I refuse to let you go around this universe seducing people by accident. If you’re going to do it, you should at least do it right.” And with that he grabs Sheppard’s arm and drags him off, ignoring McKay and Spock’s looks of horror (or, McKay’s look of horror and Spock’s barely concealed look of ‘oh my god, how are humans the dominate species in our universe’).

As they head down the corridor he can hear, over Sheppard’s protests, Bones saying “Oh, well, I hope you’re happy now. You’ve unleashed two of them.

Re: I gives you drabble &lt;3

[identity profile] ellixis.livejournal.com 2010-03-25 06:24 am (UTC)(link)
ahahahaaaa yes <3333333
ext_417805: (Harry Potter - Educational Decree No.118)

Re: I gives you drabble &lt;3

[identity profile] averzierlia.livejournal.com 2010-03-25 07:07 am (UTC)(link)
Oh my god, can you imagine the look on Elizabeth's face when she finds out?!

Re: I gives you drabble &amp;lt;3

[identity profile] ellixis.livejournal.com 2010-03-25 12:38 pm (UTC)(link)
Priceless, seriously. XD
ext_417805: (Default)

Re: I gives you drabble &amp;lt;3

[identity profile] averzierlia.livejournal.com 2010-03-25 01:20 pm (UTC)(link)
There will be more!
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[identity profile] averzierlia.livejournal.com 2010-03-24 04:22 am (UTC)(link)
Also, I'm convinced that the reason all the stuff that happens to Sheppard and Kirk happens because the universe is actually in love with them, and the laws of probability are attempting to compensate.

[identity profile] ellixis.livejournal.com 2010-03-24 03:44 pm (UTC)(link)
... why does that make so much sense, holy crap! Genius.
ext_417805: (Default)

[identity profile] averzierlia.livejournal.com 2010-03-24 04:13 pm (UTC)(link)
I know!