alexa toothbrush brushes smarter

[seperis]

As many of you know, it's Amazon Prime Day (1), and I felt it my duty to bring unto you the latest Alexa-enabled objects.

Oral-B Guide, Alexa Built-In, Amazon Dash Replenishment Enabled, Electric Toothbrush, White, Smart Brushing System

Yes, that's an Alexa-enabled toothbrush.

From the website, because when I try to summarize this I begin to scream (no idea why):

- You will receive 1 Oral-B electric toothbrush, 1 Amazon Alexa enabled smart charger base, 1 Oral-B brush head and a quick start guide to get set-up

- The smart charger has an LED quad pacer to help guide your brushing, the white light represents 30 seconds in each quadrant, red for over-pressure and green when you complete 2 minutes of brushing

- The smart charger is a WiFi enabled base that works like a fitness tracker, it captures information about your brushing sessions, which you can access via the Oral-B Connect App or optional email summaries. Improve your habits and track progress over time

- Handle includes 6 cleaning modes: Daily clean, gum care, sensitive, whitening, tongue cleaning and pro clean. The round oscillating and rotating brush head removes 100% more plaque vs. manual brushing

- Use Amazon Alexa during your daily routine to play music, answer questions, read the news, control your smart home, check the weather, set alarms, and more. And, its designed to be water resistant with 360 degree high quality sound

- Never run out of brush heads with Amazon Dash replenishment service, get genuine Oral-B quality refills delivered to your door

- Oral-B guide sets up in minutes, simply download the Oral-B connect app, pair your brush to the base and create an account. You're ready to brush smarter.

Yep. You're ready to brush smarter.

So I'm like, eighty-six point three percent sure we're currently under AI rule already, so I think we can safely say Terminator and The Matrix gave us really unrealistic expectations regarding the intentions of our robot overlords (to tempt us with voice controlled everything), and also our own collective resistance against them (didn't). Truthfully, I have no idea how I feel about this.

Comments

[alexseanchai]

sooo it gives Amazon (an entity not bound by medical privacy laws) your medical data, and it might work no better than a manual toothbrush if the wifi is down

[niqaeli]

I just.

I am not anti-Alexa in, like, theory. I'm not even in PRACTICE, we literally have a puck in our living room and use it. But also: WHYYYYYYYYYYY. I am screaming right along with you. There is no summarising this, there is only screaming.

[krait]

Welp.

I am Not A Fan of anything except my laptop having a connection to the Internet, but especially anything that is in a position to collect medical/dental data on me! Wow. But what kills me is that people will absolutely buy this, despite having somewhere between 0 and -20 need for it. :/

[thornsilver]

I..
Need to go lay down?

[kore]

That is a Stephen King story JUST WAITING TO HAPPEN.

[timespirt]

Um, that's just creepy...JMHO

[venetia_sassy]

I just read about wifi-enabled CPAP machines being taken away by insurance companies if the clients weren't being 'compliant' enough with usage. I would like to scream now.

[ratcreature]

Yeah, no. I mean, the top spot for ill advised smart device I heard about this week still belongs to that cock cage that comes with an insecure API allowing malicious actors access to the sex toy (and it apparently injured genitals too and lacked safety overrides, so multiple design failures), but I won't be networking my toothbrush either. But then I don't use any smart devices.

1000% wrong.

[jesse_the_k]

...and it doesn't include a floss API, which is tragic, because not flossing makes more of a difference than not brushing (or at least that's what my dentist says).

kestrell explains the need for Axela, the evil Alexa

https://kestrell.dreamwidth.org/361473.html

[azurelunatic]

... Okay, I would ABSOLUTELY love my beloved Sonicare to play a 2-minute podcast to me while I am brushing my teeth, with an auto-pause and resume for the split-second signal for quadrant switching.

But Alexa? Like that? ... Yeah no.