seperis: (Default)
seperis ([personal profile] seperis) wrote2019-02-25 06:35 pm
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escapade realization - social well empty or full?

So being an introvert, I always nodded along with the 'limited well of social interaction ability' because yeah, but I didn't actually think I really had that problem. When I wanted to be alone, it was to write, which by nature isn't super social, but here's the thing.

I used to smoke. Now, I don't, and this being my first con since this very important change, I discovered something.

My social well was always regulated by smoking breaks.

Not consciously, but it does now kind of occur to me how often my need for a cigarette would coincide with some sort of group social interaction after some period of time. And sure, I had a wonderful rotating social group of smokers with me, which you'd think would be also users of my well (God that sounds creepy, but I don't have anything better so ride or die on terminology here), but no. Like, yes, smokers talk a lot but we also are doing something else--smoking--and there's literally nothing like awkward silence in the smoking group because i'ts not awkward, we're inhaling. I guess like knitting but we're also getting high(ish)? I don't know, but I realized it while vaping with [personal profile] norabombay, and yes, I've known her for fifteen years, we're like long-distance fannish semi-lifemates in that way that fangirls are, she takes nothing from my social well...when I'm vaping (and like a ton less at other times, or even none, obviously, but she was the one there with me at my epiphany).

Drinking obviously is excluded form the 'social well' thing--except then here I am with two major exceptions because as it turns out I do have a social well that can empty except when one of these two conditions are met. How did i realize this? How many times I was super enjoying this group discuss yet had to flee for reasons unclear but nicotine related except I just like hung out quietly outside looking at traffic in a sort of zen-way and maybe remembering to vape every few minutes? Or talking to nora, of course. Or writing because yeah, it happens and you gotta do it?

(Yesterday, I started a course of existential despair and unrelated cramping except those are related yeah, that's called PMS, which is yet another separate wtf because two thirds of my life this has been a monthly thing and yet, I did indeed spend way too much fucking time last night feeling a sense of hopeless despair while badly playing Atmos and getting no element higher than 38.)

So does smoking/vaping either act as no-take zone of my well or do they refill it faster than it would otherwise? Or both? Like, I'm one of those introverts who doesn't fear public speaking--actually, I love it--and audience size is a plus as far as I'm concerned. Yes, I do get that's an entirely different even if related social thing but still, that's one of my speed-chargers in the social well. The only thing that keeps me from generally volunteering for ALL THE PANELS (other than say, obvious reasos) is I"m also incredibly lazy, but this makes me think future cons, to offset my well problem, i probably should volunteer to moderate at every con I go to (I did three on Saturday and that definitely did the trick on social well things).

I feel like I should survey but I'm not sure how to frame the question. I just wonder if anyone else noticed something like that?

ETA: [personal profile] kara_mckay has some really good observations in comments here. I'm still trying to assemble a better response than "Dude....." with pointing for I am more articulate than that and also no one can see me pointing.
ratcreature: Eeew! (eeew)

[personal profile] ratcreature 2019-02-26 09:06 am (UTC)(link)
I'm still so baffled that anyone would like the vaping scents better than regular smoke, and I say that as a lifelong non-smoker (though my parents smoked), who finds cigarette smoke fairly gross already. To me the volume of vape clouds seems worse than smoke (though I appreciate that they are less carcinogen) and I have to keep a long distance on the sidewalk behind them so that they can dissipate enough to be tolerable. But then I find heavy perfume clouds as intolerable, so I guess my tolerance for artificial scents is generally low.
ratcreature: Eeew! (eeew)

[personal profile] ratcreature 2019-02-28 07:32 am (UTC)(link)
Yeah, I'm the kind of person who in department stores (where unfortunately the perfume section is often near an entrance here), has to hold their breath to get through. And in the metro if I have to pick between proximity to somebody with a perfume and aftershave overkill cloud or an unwashed, somewhat smelly homeless person, I pick the gross human smell unless it is really bad.
kara_mckay: (Default)

[personal profile] kara_mckay 2019-02-26 03:19 pm (UTC)(link)
I was amazed at how much the smell bothered me after I quit. I washed everything in the house that I could wash, and if my husband visits smokers, he gets run through the shower and his clothes through the washer as fast as possible afterward. I was a heavy smoker, too, and I look back on it and wonder at just how miasmic the house must have been, and me always ready to light up the next cigarette and thinking that opening windows would probably deal with it. Incredible.
musyc: Silver flute resting diagonally across sheet music (B/W: Cigarette)

[personal profile] musyc 2019-02-26 07:37 pm (UTC)(link)
[personal profile] kara_mckay: It took me a very long time to get back on track with writing, which I used to smoke heavily while doing,

YES. I switched to a vape about two years ago and it has replaced almost all my previous habits - smoking while I drive, hanging out with the smokers outside, walking from the car to the store, and so on - like you and [personal profile] kara_mckay have mentioned. But I can't replace my "smoking while writing" habit with it. I can't tuck the intake into the corner of my mouth and let it hang while I type; it's just too heavy. I have to press the button, so I have to remove my hands from the keys, and it's an interruption.

Overall, I'm much happier with the vape - less expensive, less smelly, less destructive - but when I'm trying to write and my brain habits would previously chain my way through half a pack, it's really tough to Not Want that cigarette. (A couple of times, when I've really needed to buckle down for a deadline, I've bought a pack just to kick my brain in gear. But I try not to do that.)
musyc: Silver flute resting diagonally across sheet music (Default)

[personal profile] musyc 2019-03-03 05:14 pm (UTC)(link)
I've contemplated a Juul now that I've started a job where the rule on smoking is "don't let the visitors see you". Something a little smaller than my current Smok (Priv v8). The 200 puff limit per pod seems a touch low for me, but if I'm only using it on quick breaks at work, that would last longer.

Do you find any troubles with your batteries? I have a recharger and let them sit overnight, but it feels like they're draining more than charging? They go green, and like ... five puffs later I'm getting a flash of charge-me sometimes. (I'm not a technical person, so anything other than "red light=needs charged" is a bit beyond me. 'swhy I started with a Joytech. One button, no math. XD ) Maybe it's just temperature. If I warm up a battery in my bra for a few minutes, I get better charge time.