OTOH, I think part of it is I just don't get relationships when they feel more like port in the storm or whatever they're doing. The most enthusiasm I can summon up for even dating is short term crushes and only during breaks and lunch at work. I haven't seriously dated anyone in over a decade; oddly enough, right when I started in fandom and suddenly I was interacting with all these brilliant women and writing and after most of my life feeling out of context, interaction with people made sense.
That's interesting. I mean, I'm sort-of the same. Last time I dated was about five years ago, and that was long-distance/interstate with a fangirl so y'know, not so much the normal dating even at that.
But there's something about fandom as a community. It's one of the rare circles of life where you get to know all of these wonderful, smart, talented, emotionally generous women and single/dating/married barely gets mentioned. How you think and feel and imagine is important -- whether or not you're in a relationship isn't important at all. I think it releases a lot of the pressure to date/find someone when a lot of your closest friends can function and thrive regardless of relationship status.
Maybe it's just me, but at work/other social situations, you know which women are dating, married or single. It gets mentioned along with "Do you have kids" and "whereabouts do you live" as basic getting-to-know-you questions. Fandom, I only pick that stuff up after years of knowing someone and it's usually only in passing -- what I know about fannish friends are their enthusiasm and talent.
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That's interesting. I mean, I'm sort-of the same. Last time I dated was about five years ago, and that was long-distance/interstate with a fangirl so y'know, not so much the normal dating even at that.
But there's something about fandom as a community. It's one of the rare circles of life where you get to know all of these wonderful, smart, talented, emotionally generous women and single/dating/married barely gets mentioned. How you think and feel and imagine is important -- whether or not you're in a relationship isn't important at all. I think it releases a lot of the pressure to date/find someone when a lot of your closest friends can function and thrive regardless of relationship status.
Maybe it's just me, but at work/other social situations, you know which women are dating, married or single. It gets mentioned along with "Do you have kids" and "whereabouts do you live" as basic getting-to-know-you questions. Fandom, I only pick that stuff up after years of knowing someone and it's usually only in passing -- what I know about fannish friends are their enthusiasm and talent.