seperis | why are these people web-enabled?

Okay, level with me--the point of Facebook is to:

a.) be annoyed by your mother's obsession with getting gifts for Farmville.
b.) learn to hate fish every time you look at your feed.
c.) so people you met before the age of reason, or fuck, the age of puberty, can track you down like some kind of goddamn dark magic GPS, because I refuse to believe anything as beautiful as computers could be responsible for this shit.
d.) ex-boyfriends from non-English speaking countries who were instrumental in your growth and development can friend you. No reason.
e.) a long-lost friend is into otaku-like beliefs but in relation to the Fae (yes,

nymphaea1, I am not joking, I have evidence) and sends you pictures (EVIDENCE). Of her wings (NOT KIDDING).
f.) Fundamentalist relatives. I'll just leave that as-is.
f.) give you a glimpse of what hell will be like in terms of population. Yeah, this.

Guess how many of these are happening to me right now?

Okay, showtime. Beat that list. I totally dare you.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

....what the fuck?

I--wait, which app is sheep?

Also, you win. Though I will say my Fae-friend does come a close second. SHE LIVES NEARBY AND WANTS TO MEET UP.

I wasn't actually sure if the crazy beat out the Fae friend. I mean, none of these people have WINGS. ^.^ Though, really you'd think if I called the cops on you, you wouldn't have the gall to friend me. :( Wtf people?

The "poke" thing in FB, if you upgrade to "super poke" you can do stuff like throw sheep or fist bump or whatever. I really don't see the point. Why friend me if you aren't ever going to talk to me? o.O

No, number one alone skyrocketed you. Jesus.

...ooh, poking. Throwing sheep. Whoever designed that, take away their crackpipe, plz.

I'm not really sure if I should be pleased that I won...I don't think that I should. :(

The inventing thing...eh, it's the internet, there are some seriously weird characters out there--myself included--but the fact that people on FB seem to adore doing shit like that? So weird.

The "poke" thing in FB, if you upgrade to "super poke" you can do stuff like throw sheep or fist bump or whatever. I really don't see the point. Why friend me if you aren't ever going to talk to me?

Those apps bug the hell out of me, especially because they encourage people to spam. You have to send a certain number of sheep (or fistbumps or whatever) to unlock other items, so it sounds like these people are using you for that.

I just...I don't even know...What the hell's the point? What's the point of unlocking all these weird pokey things, and NEVER TALK TO ME?

In addition to throwing sheep, you can also *anally fistulate* someone. Just for added trauma when you log on one day, and someone you haven't seen since you were FOUR thought it would be HILARIOUS.

...um...you know...I might actually want to unlock the poking things...just so I can do that to the people who don't ever talk to me. *evil grin* That might just brighten up my day.

Seriously? Someone you haven't seen since you were four? That's a little...um...ew. Sorry.

why are these people web-enabled?

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