why are these people web-enabled?

[seperis]

Okay, level with me--the point of Facebook is to:

a.) be annoyed by your mother's obsession with getting gifts for Farmville.
b.) learn to hate fish every time you look at your feed.
c.) so people you met before the age of reason, or fuck, the age of puberty, can track you down like some kind of goddamn dark magic GPS, because I refuse to believe anything as beautiful as computers could be responsible for this shit.
d.) ex-boyfriends from non-English speaking countries who were instrumental in your growth and development can friend you. No reason.
e.) a long-lost friend is into otaku-like beliefs but in relation to the Fae (yes, nymphaea1, I am not joking, I have evidence) and sends you pictures (EVIDENCE). Of her wings (NOT KIDDING).
f.) Fundamentalist relatives. I'll just leave that as-is.
f.) give you a glimpse of what hell will be like in terms of population. Yeah, this.

Guess how many of these are happening to me right now?

Okay, showtime. Beat that list. I totally dare you.

Comments

[an-kayoh.livejournal.com]

I cannot compete mostly because I ruthlessly refuse to allow people who are not a) non-crazy family members or b) people I see at least once a week and smile at. My profile is as invisible as it gets.

I continue to use it because it updates with crazy shit more often than lj and research has shown that there are few better ways to stalk Shaun White (and this is the cheapest).

[seperis.livejournal.com]

*falls over and dies* Carry on.

[fyrdrakken]

You interest me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter. (Re the Shaun White thing -- I was already doing the low-profile thing and only have a handful of FB friends.)