How do I justify what I need to be able to function (even minimally and with care to avoid some of my triggers) in fandom or wider society when I'm constantly needing to question my own thoughts and feelings and whether my illness is currently clouding my judgement?
Yes, this. More importantly, we shouldn't have to justify why we need these warnings in the same place. And asking us to justify this in the first place can, as you so very well describe, again set off that very chain reaction in our heads that might lead to us sitting there with that razorblade or comtemplating suicide once more.
I've seen people use the counterargument that writers don't owe anything to readers, because the mainstream opinion seems to be that the readers don't owe anything to writers (like feedback), and so if anyone takes that stance (and thereby upsets them because people read without giving feedback) they should just fuck up, because hey, they're being hurt as well if nobody responds to their fic.
I cannot stress enough how this isn't in the same league at all. Yes, at best your not warning might only cause someone to feel as upset as you are at not receiving feedback.
But at its worst? Your not including a warning about these things - be it mental health, be it non-con/dub-con - can leave a person actually physically harming themselves, can leave a person actually go through and TRY TO KILL THEMSELVES, because they could not make an informed choice as to whether this might be triggering. (Note: I'm not stating this would happen in the majority of such cases, but it's a definite possibility. The self-harm caused by being triggered is obviously far more likely, but that alone should make you pause.)
It blows my mind how any person who surely thinks of themselves as decent human being can see this, and STILL refuse to warn. It is beyond callous. It means, in a nutshell, that you care more about your artistic integrity/whatever counterargument is made than WHETHER ANOTHER PERSON LIVES OR DIES. Yes, that is what it ultimately comes down to. And it's sickening.
And I don't doubt for a second that most people don't do this deliberately, but that they simply don't understand this, that they are ignorant of this very fact. So I'm speaking up, to make them aware of this. So they can understand what it is for us to be in this place. That we have so little control over our own minds already, that it should not be outrageous to people to be asked to put a warning up front so we can exert what little control we might have left. (And as has been pointed out, this need not spoil your story - see the link to methods of warning in this very post for that.)
Original anonymouse here, boiling the point down to its very essence.
Yes, this. More importantly, we shouldn't have to justify why we need these warnings in the same place. And asking us to justify this in the first place can, as you so very well describe, again set off that very chain reaction in our heads that might lead to us sitting there with that razorblade or comtemplating suicide once more.
I've seen people use the counterargument that writers don't owe anything to readers, because the mainstream opinion seems to be that the readers don't owe anything to writers (like feedback), and so if anyone takes that stance (and thereby upsets them because people read without giving feedback) they should just fuck up, because hey, they're being hurt as well if nobody responds to their fic.
I cannot stress enough how this isn't in the same league at all. Yes, at best your not warning might only cause someone to feel as upset as you are at not receiving feedback.
But at its worst? Your not including a warning about these things - be it mental health, be it non-con/dub-con - can leave a person actually physically harming themselves, can leave a person actually go through and TRY TO KILL THEMSELVES, because they could not make an informed choice as to whether this might be triggering. (Note: I'm not stating this would happen in the majority of such cases, but it's a definite possibility. The self-harm caused by being triggered is obviously far more likely, but that alone should make you pause.)
It blows my mind how any person who surely thinks of themselves as decent human being can see this, and STILL refuse to warn. It is beyond callous. It means, in a nutshell, that you care more about your artistic integrity/whatever counterargument is made than WHETHER ANOTHER PERSON LIVES OR DIES. Yes, that is what it ultimately comes down to. And it's sickening.
And I don't doubt for a second that most people don't do this deliberately, but that they simply don't understand this, that they are ignorant of this very fact. So I'm speaking up, to make them aware of this. So they can understand what it is for us to be in this place. That we have so little control over our own minds already, that it should not be outrageous to people to be asked to put a warning up front so we can exert what little control we might have left. (And as has been pointed out, this need not spoil your story - see the link to methods of warning in this very post for that.)