It looks like we're arguing about two different things here. You're saying it's bad to criticize a young girl's reading choices because her personal kinks aren't up for debate, because once you start debating someone's kinks you're getting into dangerous territory. I'm saying that their kinks are not the problem, the problem is the fact that we live in a society that says the escapism into the fantasy that a big strong man will take care of you forever and ever is okay. Our personal tastes and preferences don't arise from a vacuum, they come from the influence of the world around us. My critique is about our (as in, the English-speaking world's) general patriarchal society and the reason for this being a romantic ideal. There's a reason why the books aren't about Bella protecting, saving, and taking of Edward in the same way he does her.
I'm operating on the assumption that kink ("I find this sexy") and desire ("I want this for myself") are two completely different things. There's nothing wrong with liking Twilight or liking Bella/Edward, but there is problem with thinking the characters in these books and the romance as it is portrayed in the books is acceptable in real life. I actually give more slack to kids on this issue because God knows I was a moron when I was 16, and the crap I read didn't stick with me into my adulthood. I know several strong young women who love Twilight and still have great boyfriends who treat them with respect. But I have also seen grown women -- women older than both of us -- talking about how they wish they were in a relationship like Bella and Edward, and that Bella is an awesome character not on her own merit, but because Edward loves her. These are not women who are saying, "This is my own personal kink," this is women who are saying, "I want to be like Bella, and I want my partner to be like Edward."
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I'm operating on the assumption that kink ("I find this sexy") and desire ("I want this for myself") are two completely different things. There's nothing wrong with liking Twilight or liking Bella/Edward, but there is problem with thinking the characters in these books and the romance as it is portrayed in the books is acceptable in real life. I actually give more slack to kids on this issue because God knows I was a moron when I was 16, and the crap I read didn't stick with me into my adulthood. I know several strong young women who love Twilight and still have great boyfriends who treat them with respect. But I have also seen grown women -- women older than both of us -- talking about how they wish they were in a relationship like Bella and Edward, and that Bella is an awesome character not on her own merit, but because Edward loves her. These are not women who are saying, "This is my own personal kink," this is women who are saying, "I want to be like Bella, and I want my partner to be like Edward."