Holy shit. With a few minor adjustments, you could be living my life, right now, and probably not even tell the difference. I just sent an email that contained the following to my boss:

I've requested a meeting with X tomorrow. Maybe if we sit there together and I actually supervise her, we can get at least a few meetings set up, so we won't be too desperately behind schedule. I also plan to get a set of questions firmed up so that we can keep the meetings with [Pit Of Vipers staff] as short, direct, and to the point as possible, since we're so far behind where we should be.

Also, X has not to my knowledge done any of the online training provided by our Document Management System, nor has she read any of the document management information I have provided to her. She seems unable to comprehend the function of keywords, search terms, and the autofill requirements and functions. As a co-project manager she insists on being involved in every step, but I feel her complete lack of knowledge of this system, and even of how any document management system is supposed to work, is going to be a more serious problem the closer we get to rollout and implementation.

Good times, good times. Please share the H/C list if and when you finalize it? It's a very Mondayish Monday indeed.