I don't write my idfic. I honestly am too... I don't know, terrified that somehow I'll post it somewhere where people can SEE when I'm drunk or something to write it.
But my deepest darkest fics (and the RP I'd love to do but have never found the right person to really... ask to do it with me) would be... the innocent being torn apart. There's the headstrong, stubborn girl; Rose Tyler or Amy Pond from Doctor Who come to mind, Daine from Tamora Pierce's Immortals quartet, Elspeth from before or early on in the Mage Winds trilogy by Mercedes Lackey - these are all girls who fit into my mental "archetype" for this, though I don't write all of them. ...Okay, I do in theory, but I haven't done fics with Daine or Elspeth yet. So you take this girl and giver her to a psychopath/sociopath/scary-fucking-crazy guy, and you let him... break her. Utterly, completely, with gratuitous descriptions and really freaking horrible stuff that would trigger pretty much ANYONE who has triggers for these things and some people who don't. And then you let her pull herself together a little bit. She escapes (actually or as a ruse to make it more fun for the guy breaking her), or the guy leaves, or she just gets a respite from it all... and then you break her again. And you break her until she is a completely different person... and then you put her back together, and she's never the same.
This is horrible, terrifying stuff that I would NEVER EVER EVER release to the public at large. This is not stuff that I think is "good", and I don't think that there is a market for this sort of fic that doesn't involve scary-crazy-psychopaths... and people like me, maybe. Part of what weirds me out is that it's ALWAYS a guy breaking a girl. It's fun to break certain male characters, as well, but it's actually a very different sort of story, there - that's breaking the already broken (and I do it with girls, too), and them coming out of it stronger, and involves much less... horrifying sexual torture and psychological dismantlement.
And the thing is, I don't want to read stuff like this. I might go back and re-read stuff I've done (I was first introduced to this part of me in a MUCH TAMER THAN I WISHED RP session back in the day), but I'd never really... track down fic like this and read it. Because that's... not what I want. I can think of literally two people who, if they wrote this, I would WANT to read it, and they are both my significant others. Also, I think they would probably be able to do it well, if you can do such a terrifying sort of story well.
...I don't know, this is me rambling because... it's hard.
Outside of anything sexually-involved (because I actually don't like writing or reading sex-fic that much), my id likes me to write HORRIBLY SUE-ISH FANTASY WITH MAGIC AND SPARKLY PONIES AND UNICORNS AND SHIT, a la... Valdemar is really the only fantasy I've read that fits the description. XD I WANTS TO WRITE SPARKLEPONIES. Also horrible modern-girl-or-guy falls into fantasy universe of choice stories.
So... my id is stuck in the 8-year-old fairy princess stage with a heaping of physical, psychological, and sexual torture on the side?
...and now I'm worried I might've said too much and made people look at me like I might eat their babies. D:
no subject
But my deepest darkest fics (and the RP I'd love to do but have never found the right person to really... ask to do it with me) would be... the innocent being torn apart. There's the headstrong, stubborn girl; Rose Tyler or Amy Pond from Doctor Who come to mind, Daine from Tamora Pierce's Immortals quartet, Elspeth from before or early on in the Mage Winds trilogy by Mercedes Lackey - these are all girls who fit into my mental "archetype" for this, though I don't write all of them. ...Okay, I do in theory, but I haven't done fics with Daine or Elspeth yet. So you take this girl and giver her to a psychopath/sociopath/scary-fucking-crazy guy, and you let him... break her. Utterly, completely, with gratuitous descriptions and really freaking horrible stuff that would trigger pretty much ANYONE who has triggers for these things and some people who don't. And then you let her pull herself together a little bit. She escapes (actually or as a ruse to make it more fun for the guy breaking her), or the guy leaves, or she just gets a respite from it all... and then you break her again. And you break her until she is a completely different person... and then you put her back together, and she's never the same.
This is horrible, terrifying stuff that I would NEVER EVER EVER release to the public at large. This is not stuff that I think is "good", and I don't think that there is a market for this sort of fic that doesn't involve scary-crazy-psychopaths... and people like me, maybe. Part of what weirds me out is that it's ALWAYS a guy breaking a girl. It's fun to break certain male characters, as well, but it's actually a very different sort of story, there - that's breaking the already broken (and I do it with girls, too), and them coming out of it stronger, and involves much less... horrifying sexual torture and psychological dismantlement.
And the thing is, I don't want to read stuff like this. I might go back and re-read stuff I've done (I was first introduced to this part of me in a MUCH TAMER THAN I WISHED RP session back in the day), but I'd never really... track down fic like this and read it. Because that's... not what I want. I can think of literally two people who, if they wrote this, I would WANT to read it, and they are both my significant others. Also, I think they would probably be able to do it well, if you can do such a terrifying sort of story well.
...I don't know, this is me rambling because... it's hard.
Outside of anything sexually-involved (because I actually don't like writing or reading sex-fic that much), my id likes me to write HORRIBLY SUE-ISH FANTASY WITH MAGIC AND SPARKLY PONIES AND UNICORNS AND SHIT, a la... Valdemar is really the only fantasy I've read that fits the description. XD I WANTS TO WRITE SPARKLEPONIES. Also horrible modern-girl-or-guy falls into fantasy universe of choice stories.
So... my id is stuck in the 8-year-old fairy princess stage with a heaping of physical, psychological, and sexual torture on the side?
...and now I'm worried I might've said too much and made people look at me like I might eat their babies. D: