After a day of shopping at the new Round Rock outlet mall, where bliss was discovered in skirts at seventy-five percent off and boots at sixty, I am in this terrible, horrible, life-threateningly *bad* mood. I even bought a jump drive. HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO HATE EVERYTHING WHEN ONE HAS AWESOME BOOTS AND TWO AWESOME SKIRTS? HOW?

*stares* Okay, there is no disease that awesome shoes do not minister to. I actually feel like making up a list of all the things I received via Christmas and post-Christmas shopping for the purposes of raising my mood. That is just sad.

Anyway. In lieu of unleashing my rage on real people, I thought I'd make Rod's life miserable.

wow, it could be worse, but how? )
Title: The Forest People
Author: jenn
Codes: McKay, Sheppard/McKay, Teyla, Ronon
Rating: NC-17
Spoilers: none specific
Summary: He can still hear the beat of drums, matching the hard beat of his heart, and catching his breath, Rodney keeps running.
Author Notes: Thanks to [livejournal.com profile] svmadelyn for beta, commentary, and suggestions. All my appreciation, chica.
Warnings: Please see cut tag Warnings for warnings.

Warnings )

sgafic: the forest people )
So. Hmm.

Not Christmasy so much as *chatty*. Okay, first off, it was an AIM convo and one in the morning. So honestly, it was already crack. I just--expanded it.

This is not fic. Well, it's fic, but it's not good fic. It's more trashy crack fic. It's the trailer park cousin of crack fic, the one with two heads that always calls you darlin and never takes baths.

To clarify; chat came first. The rest is--again, *four in the morning*. Freaking John/Wraith seems like an awesome idea at four in the morning.

With input, additions, and mocking by [livejournal.com profile] eleveninches, [livejournal.com profile] amireal and [livejournal.com profile] everagaby.

fic-ish: If I Were Writing-- )
Christmasy domestic cookie goodness snippet. Also, John and Rodney. For reference, backstory to Strangerverse, but mostly, this is cookies. God, I want some cookies.

sga snippet: gingerbread )
Dec. 10th, 2006 01:26 am

napfic!

For [livejournal.com profile] amireal's nap challenge.

Where I Lay My Head, because seriously, my titles suck. Four parts total.
Title: What I Keep and What I Carry (Teacher's Pet AU)
Author: jenn
Codes: McKay, Sheppard, Jeanie Miller
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: McKay and Miss Miller, sort of
Summary: She stops wondering how Meredith could do this, why, because she already knows.
Author Notes: [livejournal.com profile] svmadelyn for the beta and help with the title. [livejournal.com profile] amireal for prereading and nodding.

Mostly, this is proof that boredom and tiredness lead terrible places. AU for Teacher's Pet, set after Teachers' Pet 9, where things didn't work out quite as they should.

sgafic: what I keep and what I carry )
It is cold. This is not helping the lungs. Also, the smokers now look at me mockingly and remind me, no, I can't smoke, and I keep wanting to walk over and breathe in the second hand to get a buzz which is BAD IDEA but God.

OTOH, it is very cold, so i am feeling the warmth of self-satisfaction that they all have to go outside and I can stay inside.

Honestly, of all the ways I thought I'd quit? Not so much this way.

Also, I got very awesome email this morning. It's like, I think lj drama is finally on a hiatus? Not so much.

Random Plotbunnies of Doom

1.) Still tempted toward writing The Bondage That Went Horribly, Horribly Wrong. And by tempted, I mean, wrote it, but no idea what to do with it. It can only go bad melodramatic places. That makes me happy, as I am in a bad melodramatic place. I blame [livejournal.com profile] eleveninches for not writing John/Kolya yet. I also blame society.

2.) McKay and Mrs. Miller AU - Rod got on my nerves a lot. There is a very real part of me that wants to follow him back to his AU, where Sheppard is a secret anorexic kleptomaniac who refuses to have sex with people who aren't Enlightened, Ascended, or In a Higher Realm of Existence (huh, like canon, strange), and Rod is going through a transitional self-mutilation phase to express his pain at being so very popular yet God, so alone in a crowd, and also, he keeps accidentally having really bad sex with really hot people. A part of me wants him to have been a cheerleader in college. It kind of scares me that I can see him with pom-poms.

Oh please, like half of you weren't slowly filleting him in your heads! I spent the entire episode wanting to tell Rodney DO NOT TRUST THE FREAKY SLICK GUY HE IS DARKNESS AND PROBABLY EATS BABIES. You know you like it.

3.) Eventually, I am going to write something that isn't crack. I just--the ones I want to work on, like Strangerverse, is depressing--no, seriously, I have to brace myself before I start, because that is like misery universe and after, I need chocolate and porn like no one's business because everyeone is so unhappy and not really getting better and seriously, what was I thinking?

4.) I'm tempted toward that what fandom would I be meme, except I think I'm that fandom that people never want to talk about, becuase the canon was alwasy fucked up and everyone hated each other. I am not a ball of happy consistency here.

5.) Below, scene from Teacher's Pet. Fairly self-contained, so I may end up leaving it alone and making the new one set after [livejournal.com profile] miss_porcupine and [livejournal.com profile] svmadelyn's next ones. This one's heavily mixed with [livejournal.com profile] miss_porcupine's Lorne povs, which is of the awesome. Set sometime after Jarhead. Tag for Teacher's Pet here.

transitional )
Okay, this is hte one I was supposed to post last week and then got all distracted with stuff. Um, nothing's really been added or changed except spellcheck a few seconds ago.

Anyway, next part of Crimes Against Humanity. Tag here.

Part 8

Warnings: Please see this entry for series warnings.

crimes against humanity 9 )
Honestly, a fever is the only way I could think this was a good idea.

When we last left our heroes, John got a haircut, Ford gets a hit, Rodney gets to be the good cop, and Elizabeth reevaluates her position on suriviving Atlantis. Yes, it's that time again--Crimes Against Humanity.

Okay, for those who have read only from the webpage, the last part was never posted there because--I really don't know. I think I forgot. Anyway, last posted part is here, under tag here.

This is mostly for [livejournal.com profile] ltlj, who has had a not so great week there. I thought some mindless violence and porn might be an appropriate offering. Consider this your warning. Though honestly, if you read this far, there's nothing I can do that could surprise you at this point.

Part 7

Warnings: Please see this entry for series warnings.


crimes against humanity, 8 )
This is in the genre we call "crack porn". You are pretty much warned by that, right? Good.

sgaporn: situationally speaking )
Okay, it's been a while. Perhaps even ten months. In my defense, I have been very contrite that I did not, you know, keep going. Okay, maybe not so much a defense there. But look! Fic!

The Rain Gods, 4/x
by jenn
Codes: McKay, Sheppard/McKay
Summary: Waking up is when it starts.

Earlier parts here because I am getting used to using tags.

in which outdoor activities are a must, and Rodney gets tired of his underwear being molested )
Title: Broadcast Signal
Author: jenn (jenn@thegateway.net)
Codes: McKay, McKay/Sheppard
Rating: NC-17
Summary: It's not that Rodney blames himself--exactly--but he does wonder if perhaps making Sheppard wade into the foggy residue to rescue his laptop was maybe a bit of a mistake.
Author Notes: I thought Ami might need the porn. And I feel clich├ęd today.
Warnings: Some implied potential dubcon.

sgafic: broadcast signal )
And yeah. More. IF God is kind, zohowriter will work Monday while I'm toiling.

Earlier parts here.

And This Is Why There Are Regular Check-Ins )
In my continuing efforts to loathe all pollen and things that fly in the air and cause some people who will not be named to spend a lot of time with a pile of pillows behind their backs to help them breathe--look! More Rescue!Rodney! Kind of like the Rescue Rangers but less in animation and more in the subtext. Of course, I have never looked for subtext in Rescue Rangers, so really, what do I know?

No, please don't tell me about the subtext in Rescue Rangers. Really.

Continued from yesterday, here.

The One in Which Someone Should Have Mentioned To Someone That Maybe Atlantis' Last Run-in With Kolya May Have Fucked Them Up a Little Bit In Regard to Missing Sheppards )
Welcome to the crack zone. I never realized mid-season cliffhangers actually lead to breaks in sanity. I like it. Also, I had to stay home, what with the lack of breathing my allergies suddenly upgraded to and other sundry annoyances of existence, so honestly? This is totally my joy. My next trick is to sell Lorne to the Ori for beans.

Following Entanglement Theory, because seriously, this totally had to happen at some point.

Or, The One Where Rodney Realizes No One Read the First Season Mission Reports Closely Enough )
I would like to thank Texas mold and my new allergy medication for a really strange night of almost sleep, almost awake, and a dim crossover hallucination of Star Wars by way of Stargate Atlantis. In a way that I will never discuss except to say, no. Ronon is not the equivalent of a wookie. I mean, he *could be*? But not like that. Dear God, not like that.

But. Moving on.

I write *different* in zohowriter. It's all--*waves hands*--different.

So trying something--er, else--with Strangerverse. John POV, set after What You Can't Leave Behind, fairly short--I don't know. To me, it feels different, but I can't quite quantify how. Like I'm a half-inch off my normal writing self.

Right. Crazy talk. I'm cool with that. See? So not freaking out that half of it was written in Verdana ten point font and the rest with the *memory* of which parts were written in Verdana ten point font. God. No words.

Anyway, Strangerverse #7, all earlier parts up on my site now here or under the tag here.

how to let go )
I really haven't stretched my really juvenile humor muscles in a while. Just go with it.

To [livejournal.com profile] amireal and [livejournal.com profile] svmadelyn, for petting.

ETA: God, sorry. Spoilers for The Return Part 1.

so earth's not quite what they expected )
Okay, fic.

Thanks to [livejournal.com profile] svmadelyn for coaxing and correction and taunting ith chocolate mousse, and [livejournal.com profile] lierdumoa for checking it over.

Strangerverse fic #6, per request of [livejournal.com profile] miss_porcupine and [livejournal.com profile] trobadora for the prompt of Rodney offworld and more military Sheppard. All other stories in the series here: The Stranger's Always You, Lessons, Second Watch, Corner, Goodbye, and prequel The New Order Sucks.

what you can't leave behind )
The New Order Sucks, Or, Five Reasons Why Rodney's Not Moving On Very Fast
by jenn (jenn@thegateway.net)
Codes: McKay, McKay/Sheppard, Carter, O'Neill, AU, pre-Atlantis
Rating: NC-17
Spoilers: none specific, Rising if you squint and check through a quantum mirror
Summary: Five semi-related scenes from a life. This is what Rodney left behind.
Author Notes: Lethal schmoop. I'm so serious here. *Melodramatic* schmoop at that, since it's been a while and well, I can. This is like me on a string of romance novels and LKBVs. And sugar. And caffeine. And *chocolate*.

It could be considered the prequel to The Stranger's Always You and succeeding snippets. And by considered to be, I mean, it really is. Tag for Strangerverse is here.

Thanks to [livejournal.com profile] svmadelyn and [livejournal.com profile] celli for going over this and nodding appropriately when I explained my inner melodramatist had taken control, offering suggestions and making corrections and adding lines. [livejournal.com profile] rageprufrock for one section she double checked for me, since I was worried.

Special thanks to [livejournal.com profile] aurora_84 and [livejournal.com profile] catmoran for the specific request that started--well, a hell of a lot shorter than this. I'll try the others soon. I just didn't see this one--well, growing.

the new order sucks )
And...I'm in a post-con gulley. Something. I am totally getting why the week after a fancon, my flist looks so depressed.

So of course, fic.

They're tagged Strangerverse. Earlier stories: The Stranger's Always You, Lessons, First Watch, and Corner. Picks up two weeks later.

Thanks to [livejournal.com profile] svmadelyn for the petting and cooing in between life altering horror.

sgafic: goodbye )
Okay, I was answering feedback and then I--well, I wrote this.

Basically, at this point, I'm screwing around here just because it's fun. For background The Stranger's Always You, Lessons and Second Watch.

I'm going for least imaginative titles in history, as well as most pointless plotlines ever. All bow before new levels of just plain strange.

corner )
I--well, yeah, no excuse. I just liked the image of Rodney sitting at the fire after the first mission.

Based off The Stranger's Always You and set two weeks after Lessons.

second watch )
So, I'm on my third week of serious writer's block--if you can't tell from the fact I'm writing in barely one page *snippets* and doing DVD commentaries like they're an endangered species.

So what the hell. This is the first actual independent inspiration I've had. This is not a series. Just a scene.

*sighs* For reference, or this probably won't make sense, The Stranger's Always You. This is set a couple of weeks after.

For fun, we'll call it Lessons. I'd kind of laugh at myself that I said I had no interest in really pursing this universe, because apparently, I had this left to take for a spin.

lessons )
And final part of the trilogy, and wow, I forgot how gutted reading that makes me feel.

Mexico City, Director's Cut.

Enjoy!

mexico city 1/2 )
It seemed pointless to do Arizona and then not the rest of the series, so.

Puerto Vallarta, Director's Cut. For the usual suspects, who wanted to see how this would go. I have--um, I'm probably goingn to do two more of these after Mexico City, but I'm not sure how long it will take.

puerto vallarta )
So right. DVD commentary. I'll put this up in HTML for easier reading eventually.

Arizona, Director's Cut, for [livejournal.com profile] avoteforla, [livejournal.com profile] chinawolf, and [livejournal.com profile] djianna.

arizona, part 1 )
So I was complaining to [livejournal.com profile] researchgrrrl about how I was blocked, blocked, blocked, and she said, then write something stupid and cute. That's paraphrased, btw. So. Stupid and cute. That I can do. There will be spelling errors, I wrote this in the update screen and hit post after a quick visual scan.

Teacher's Pet snippet. Just--random. Set after Madelyn's next one (10) but before my next one (11).

jarhead )
And--yeah. See? I do keep things up!

Thanks to [livejournal.com profile] svmadelyn and [livejournal.com profile] thepouncer for beta, [livejournal.com profile] amireal and [livejournal.com profile] lierdumoa for prereading and happy noises.

Earlier parts can be found here.

sgafic: teacher's pet 9 )
The Touch of Your Hand
by jenn (jenn@thegateway.net)
Codes: McKay, Sheppard/McKay, NC-17
Author Notes: I got this back *three times* from [livejournal.com profile] adannu before she considered it postable, which means whatever mistakes are left are because I just wasn't paying attention. [livejournal.com profile] adannu also for the title. [livejournal.com profile] amireal and [livejournal.com profile] fashes for prereading and supportive happy noises.

This is *porn*. With sand involved. But not in any way that chafes, I don't think.

sgafic: the touch of your hand )
A style exercise, mostly. And you know. Rain. I really like rain. McKay and Sheppard, pre-slash, with blankets.

timeless )

Icon courtesy of [livejournal.com profile] shusu. *Pretty*.
Tiny little finger of a universe. Thanks to [livejournal.com profile] svmadelyn, [livejournal.com profile] fashes, and [livejournal.com profile] celli for prereading and correcting.

The Stranger's Always You
by jenn (jenn@thegateway.net)
Codes: McKay, Sheppard, Sheppard/McKay implied
Warnings: Please see Warnings cut-tag.

Warnings )

the stranger's always you )
You know, sometimes I remember that I used to write really cute things. That seems like a long time ago. Also, close to twenty thousand words. I have no idea what to make of that.

Part 5

Warnings: Please see this entry for series warnings.

crimes against humanity, 6 )
Huh. I forgot remix was revealed today.

Well. Hmm. Empty (Te Deum), remix of [livejournal.com profile] trinityofone's original, The Hollow Men. It was--well, every remix is intersting in a high stress, stop-eating, blood-pressure on the ceiling kind of way. This one is the first one where I panicked and asked everyone on AIM "So, who has seen Red Dwarf?"

revised fic )

author notes )

[livejournal.com profile] trinityofone - it's been a privilege. Thank you.
I'm pretty sure that whoever developed the hideousness of requisitions has to be some kind of minion of hell now. Cause wow. Though it temps me to try and see if I can requisition a helicopter. Technically, I have the codes right here to do it, along with a head of cattle, a zipper, and some dogs. Temptation.

But right, enough on that. More glee, more darkness, more mayhem. Sort of. I swear, I'll be getting back and answering all comments this week, I'm just--not doing too great at it right now.

Part 4

Warnings: Please see this entry for series warnings.


crimes against humanity, 5 )
There's just something terribly freeing in just pure indulgence.

Part 3

Warnings: Please see this entry for series warnings.

crimes against humanity, 4 )
*waves hand* It's going.

Also, icon by [livejournal.com profile] shusu. *blinking at it adoringly* Pretty when homicidal would also have been a godo title for this fic, yes?

I so haven't been in this good a mood in *forever*. God.

Earlier parts; one and two.

Warnings: Please see this entry for series warnings.


crimes against humanity, 3 )
You are all a terrible, terrible influence. I'm just saying.

For [livejournal.com profile] emrinalexander, a prison snippet I expanded a bit.

Title: Crimes Against Humanity
Author: Seperis
Codes: John/Rodney, others
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Atlantis was a neutral colony before it became a prison camp, split between the mainland facilities and the ocean bound city itself for the war criminals and those convicted of crimes against humanity. Alcatraz, he'd heard Sheppard drawl when he arrived in the gateroom, manacled and bruised from a scuffle in the Colorado gate room that ended with four injured Marines. Inescapable, or so they said, but Sheppard's single word reminded him that nothing's inescapable.
Warnings: Please see Warnings cut-tag.

warnings )

crimes against humanity )
Mar. 21st, 2006 11:23 pm

hmmm

Jenn: Okay, see, I turned in my remix on time
Jenn: But I can't stop *editing* the fucker.
Jenn: And so the version there is goinng ot end up *so freaking differnet* from the one on my site if this doesn't end.
[livejournal.com profile] justabi: It'll be like two for the price of one.
[livejournal.com profile] justabi: Or, you could just stop.
Jenn: You say that like I can.
Jenn: well, I did close it.
Jenn: That is something.
Jenn: I just keep seeing comma splices and places Rodney could start his own religion.

You know, there has to be something I could be working on right now that isn't, you know, rekilling the dead horse.

Like this.

panama, or things that happen when one can't take over the plane )
Continuing in the tradition of staring blankly and wondering, wait, when did this get a plot? [livejournal.com profile] svmadelyn corrected my errors and some of my continuity. I want to say it again...seriously. This was supposed to be *snippets*.

First seven parts can be found here.

teacher's pet, 8 )
There was a really terrifying moment while talking to [livejournal.com profile] svmadelyn, sharing bunny stories, where it suddenly hit me--this is the entirety of my current conversational skills! I am one of those people. I have, in fact, become the crazy rabbit lady. Woman. Fangirl. Oh God, I am a rabbit fangirl.

Let's just list this out.

1.) Physically incapable of leaving a pet store without a new rabbit treat and/or toy.
2.) Angsting over vegetable combinations longer than it takes the rabbits to eat them.
3.) Obsessive house rabbit website reading.
4.) Sudden, inexplicable desire to build a small rabbit mansion out of Home Depot items. Like, say, wood. And nails. And hinges.

For those who don't get the absolute terror of this--many have read of me and dissecting the TV, the butterknife and the VCR, and the way I managed to install a DVD writer into Brian. Do any of you really, really think seeming me with a hammer can end any other way than with an ER visit and a cast?

Right.

The biggest issue is the food. Pellets! Evil! Pellets! Good! Lettuce! Evil! Lettuce! Good! Clover! Poison! Clover! Delicious! Never feed your rabbit bananas! Only buy hay from stables! YOU ARE KILLING YOUR FURRY FRIEND YOU ANTI-RABBIT WHORE.

Okay, they didn't say that, but by God, they implied. So I took them off pellets, then read at the official houserabbit website that they should have unlimited supplies and panicked, then there was alfalfa angst, and romaine-lettuce salads only, and frankly, the rabbits eat better than I do. I'm also picking up a wide collection of bunny claw scars, one of which is showing a case of mild infection. First vet appointment for Reggie the Netherlands Dwarf (I want to say Neanderthal *so much*), Bryante the Holland Lop, and Sloppy the Holland Lop (renamed by Sister Who Technically Owns But I Care For) are at teh end of the month. I am not looking forward to this in an epic way, but I do have a rabbit magazine (first joke gets you stepped on, I swear) and have highlighted relevant chapters to discuss.

And the less said about Bryante's hind leg nail clipping the better. Seriously. I'm hyperventilating over my rabbit's pain and terror while my mother stares at me blankly while trying to trance him and asking me if I need medical intervention. The paper bag did nicely.

And so half my flist doesn't defriend me into disgust--you advertised as fannish and now you are Twenty-Four Seven Rabbit!--a snippet from Teacher's Pet 8, still in production on my hard drive. And by production, I mean, it's sitting there, mocking me. This was originally written for [livejournal.com profile] svmadelyn, and--yeah, I'm not even going to try to commentary on this one. I'll just--be over here.

I can honestly state, however, that when I started? This is not where I ever expected to be.

snippet for teacher's pet 9 )
Title: All Brand New, Sequel to [livejournal.com profile] amireal's Close Encounters
Author: jenn (jenn@thegateway.net)
Codes: Sheppard, Sheppard/McKay
Rating: NC-17
Spoilers: none specific, second season-ish
Summary: And if Rodney had been pissy *before* about what he saw as John's flirtatious behavior, there are all new levels of insanity to achieve when Rodney has exclusive access.
Author Notes: Thanks to the incomparable [livejournal.com profile] amireal, who asked and audienced and told me I was pretty as often I asked, [livejournal.com profile] lierdumoa for a last minute preread, and basically for the very dregs of my teenage music collection. Eighties power ballads, Roxette, and Madonna. Mmm.

For reference, Close Encounters by [livejournal.com profile] amireal

sgafic: all brand new )
I...really like Little!John. He'sjust--so cute.

I have no defense against that.

Okay, so we have: one, two, three, four (by [livejournal.com profile] svmadelyn), five, and six (by [livejournal.com profile] svmadelyn). Bringing us to seven.

I'm kind of hoping we're on the home stretch here. Hmm.

teacher's pet, 7 )

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